I Can't
by IfEverythingElseTurnsToDirt
Summary: "I can't." she said. No elaborate explanation, she wasn't the Rachel I used to know. Then again, she had betrayed me time and time again.   It involves only Finn and Rachel, but totally ships St. Berry


**I am back again with this story I wrote forever ago . It's a St. Berry Shipper, but only involves the Berry and some Hudson**

**Hope you enjoy read and review :D**

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><p>"Leave him, please. For me," I begged her. A week before I had sat in front of my television screen watching her at the premiere of her new film. It seemed almost impossible that she could fit in a main movie role and still be a very successful Broadway star, but she had done it. She had been doing it for years, it had been 5 years since I had left Lima, Ohio and 6 since she. Everyone had told me I wouldn't make it, with all the odds stacked against me I still followed her there. It was New York, it was what she had always dreamed of. My love for music had grown because of her but my soul had died. It was Nationals of her senior year, we weren't on speaking terms then and it hurt just seeing her perform. She was marvelous, the whole team was. They had won the first and last National show choir competition she would ever experience and she had looked so happy. She had embraced him so tightly as if to never let him go. It seemed she had finally gotten everything her teenage heart had dreamed of, the success followed her. Not 3 months out of Tisch and she had earned the role of Laurie in the new upcoming Broadway revival of Oklahoma! It had been the beginning of her amazing skyrocket to fame.<p>

"I can't." she said. No elaborate explanation, she wasn't the Rachel I used to know. Then again she had betrayed me time and time again. She couldn't leave him not because she didn't care for me, no. She couldn't leave him because he had been there for her when I wasn't, he hadn't hurt her, he hadn't broken her heart the way I had, and he was what she had always yearned for.

Stubbornly I asked, "why? Why not?" I knew I shouldn't delve into the realm of darkness and pain but I did it anyway. I had asked her the same question all those years ago when she chose him over me, she always would.

"This isn't something we should be discussing on MY WEDDING DAY," she had responded. It was a cue, ones which she was always great at giving.

"It is something I was never brave enough to ask..." I retorted.

"Maybe it is and was something you had or have no right to ask," she exclaimed.

"No right? You've got to be kidding me Rachel! How dare you say I have no right? I have waited 6 years for an answer I'd possibly never recieve. You owe me this much!" I cried.

"Owe you? I owe you nothing," she yelled.

"How can you look me in the eye and say you owe me nothing?" I questioned.

She chuckled, "You have the audacity to ruin my day, MY DAY over a sudden burst of bravery you had to ask me why I can't leave him and question why I owe you nothing. This is it. This your blunt ignorance of the things that don't revolve around your self esteem! If it doesn't involve You it is hurting You. If You hurt someone, if You break someones heart it doesn't matter, but suddenly when someone hurts You, when someone breaks your heart it freaking matters! That's why! Are you happy now?" she was seething, anger and sorrow coating the words that had been released.

"I'm sorry that I can't interrupt your life because I'm finally trying to live mine..."

"Sorry? After all you've done and what you continue to do? Please you're not interrupting my life because you've never not disturbed it!"

"I have let you be for 5 years Rachel!"

"Well congratulations! Do you not remember the times before then when I was happy and you ruined it every chance you got? I could have been happy for so long if I hadn't been stuck under your web, under that sick disgusting lie that you made me believe when I was in high school!"

"I never meant to hurt you, but it was her, she asked me to. She told me that by doing that I'd get all i ever wanted."

"She doesn't matter anymore she left us remember? More importantly she left you!"

"Dont talk about S- her that way! You know she was there for me whenever I needed her!"

"She broke both our hearts. She wanted you to do her a favor and in turn she broke me!"

"She didn't mean to..."

"But she did! You cheated on me with her!"

"I didn't cheat! We weren't together!"

"We were together before Christmas break & the summer of our Senior year $ Spring Break of senior year. Am I missing anything?"

"Santana didn't mean anything!"

"She obviously meant something on 4 different occassions! So why then, should I leave him for you?"

"I could give you so much more!"

"Heartbreak? Dissapointment? Sadness?More what Finn? More love? More happiness? More dedication? I don't think so."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you need to stop being so oblivious, you need to stop being so inconsiderate, you need to stop being so heartless...Goodbye Finn and this time it's forever. I'm happy, happier than I've ever been. He's everything I've ever wanted and everything I've ever needed at the same time. Leaving him would be like defying the universe. He makes me whole, Finn. He understands me completely, he makes me who i was always supposed to be. I would be lost without him and him the same. It's taken almost 10 years to gain our happiness and walking away from that would be the biggest mistake I'd ever make, leaving what was 10 years in the making would defy all I've ever believed in. I want my happy ending, I want my fairytale ending, Finn. I have what every little girl dreams of well a few bumps and bruises along the way but it's my story, Finn! I'm the brave heroine and he's my hero. It's my own melodrama, my own Musical, but it's mine and no one will change that. I hope you find that too, Finn. I hope you find the happiness I'll have forever!"

"Goodbye Rachel Ber- Rachel St. James."

With a sad smile I left the room.

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><p><strong>LET me KNOw if you Liked it or If you Hated it :D Please :D It will make Rachel and Jesse live happily ever after<strong>


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